What I've Learned from 4 Years of Affirmations (That Instagram Doesn't Tell You)
I remember when affirmations felt awkward to me, like I was saying things I didn’t fully believe out loud and hoping they’d somehow magically stick. But over time, those uncomfortable words became the foundation of my mindset.
In this post, I’m sharing four lessons I’ve learned about affirmations so far, from what actually makes them work to how to stop comparing your healing journey to someone else’s. I’ve seen the shifts firsthand, and I want to help you experience them too.
Four years ago today on 7/11/21, Esteem Affirmations launched as a small spark with a huge vision that stemmed from the need to heal, to feel seen, and to reframe my own thoughts when everything around me felt like it was getting way too loud.
Fast forward to today, 4 years after going live and we’ve grown into a movement — with affirmation cards, journals, incense, and resources created to help anyone who’s silently suffering to feel seen and supported.
But here’s the truth:
Affirmations aren’t magic words, they’re a strategy.
They don’t “work” just because you say them, and Instagram quotes can only take you so far before you look up and realize your life still doesn’t feel aligned with what you want.
Let's talk about it.
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LESSON #1: Repeating affirmations without believing them won’t change your mindset.
You don’t have to fake positivity to manifest a better life. It actually won’t even work if you tried. It’s okay to be honest with yourself and admit that you don’t have anything positive to say in certain moments.
When this comes up, it’s better to shift your mind back to the facts and not your feelings versus staying in a negative place. Saying things like: “I have survived all of my hardest days so far” or “Tomorrow is another opportunity at a better day” are small facts that you can trust yourself to believe. The only way to start making room to receive, is to believe you’re able to. Negativity is a blocker against a lot of things being able to come into your life and you have to be aware of the things that are holding you back. Some of the most powerful affirmations are the ones you whisper when your voice is shaking and with tears in your eyes, so speak up, it’s okay.
Healing starts with honesty — not perfection.
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LESSON #2: Healing is personal and nothing like the next person’s journey.
Comparison will steal every ounce of joy and progress you’ve made if you give it too much attention. You might look at someone else and think, “They look so healed,” or “They’re doing it better than me,” but you have no idea what they’re actually dealing with behind the scenes and if you would be willing to endure the same trials and tribulations.
Whenever you find yourself in a state of comparing, remind yourself that you don’t know what it took for them to get there and you don’t know if they’re really “there” at all. After many disappointments you have to accept that healing is a return to yourself and not a race or competition with anyone.
Some people need affirmations that shout. Some need ones that whisper. There will be days where you’ll want to say, “I’m powerful and worthy,” and other days it’ll sound more like, “I’m trying my best.” Both are valid. Both are enough.
So run your own race. Speak what feels real for you. And don’t water down your healing just to make it look like someone else’s highlight reel. Your healing journey is supposed to feel like you and no one else.
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LESSON #3: Your words are your reality, period.
Affirmations train your brain to look for both positivity and possibilities. Every time you repeat an affirmation like “I am safe” or “Good things are still happening for me”, you’re letting your brain know that it’s okay to slowly come out of fight or flight mode.
That’s why it not only matters what you say, it also matters how much you say it. Repetition is key in the game of healing and the more you say affirmations, the more you believe them. Think about how many times you’ve said “Today is going to be a bad day” and it actually was. Our goal is to help you find the positive in every moment, naturally.
Challenge yourself to wake up and say “Today is going to be a great day” for a week straight and keep track of how many good days you have. Remember, bad moments don’t equal a bad day or life, they’re just moments. Feel them, deal with them and then release them.
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LESSON #4: You have to actually use the wellness tools, not just collect them
Buying affirmation cards, journals, and attending retreats all feel good (we get it!).
But the power doesn’t come from owning the tools. The power comes from making space for them to actually support you. You don’t need a “perfect” routine. You just need a consistent one that you like.
Pull a affirmation card before you check your phone in the morning. Light incense while you’re journaling or reading. Keep your journal out where you’ll see it. Small additions like these add up over time and ends up becoming second nature. That’s when the real shifts begin, because you finally gave yourself permission to pause and pour back into yourself.
That’s why every product we offer is designed to be approachable, easy to use, and feel like an extension of your real life — not just your wishlist.
So if no one has told you lately — it’s okay to begin again.
Whether you’re in a season of rebuilding, rediscovering yourself, or simply trying to stay grounded day to day, you deserve tools that make healing feel less overwhelming and more like you.
That’s why we created the Claim, Speak, Receive Affirmation Deck, the Rewrite Journal, and our full line of affirmation incense — not to fix you, but to remind you of your power while you do the work.
Here’s to speaking life into your thoughts, staying honest with your healing, and making space for the version of you that’s still unfolding.
We’re so glad you’re here.
Welcome to the new era of Esteem Affirmations.
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